If Your Beauty Brand's Emails Are Boring, Preachy, or Sound Like Every Other "Clean Beauty" Brand Out There...

Your Customers Are Deleting Them Without Reading (And Buying From Someone More Interesting Instead)

Most women’s beauty brands send the same boring emails:

“Self-care Sunday!”
“Clean ingredients for your best skin ever!”
“Empowered women empower women!”

Like really? The only person reading that? Is the person who wrote it and the editor who thought it was genius.

Your customers don’t wake up foaming at the mouth to read another email about the importance of hydration and the 2026 self-love revolution.

They wake up wondering why their skin still looks tired even though they spent $300 on serums last month. They’re comparing themselves to women on Instagram who somehow have time to do a 12-step skincare routine. They’re trying to figure out if they should actually care about parabens because it’s another thing that’s probably slowly killing us.

And if your emails aren’t entertaining, interesting, or actually saying something DIFFERENT…

They’re not getting read.

Which means they’re not making sales.

Which also means that you my friend… are leaving money on the table every… single… day.

The Brands Winning Right Now Aren’t Playing Nice

Look at the beauty and wellness brands actually killing it:

Fenty Beauty didn’t win by talking about “empowerment.” They won by saying “fuck your beauty standards, we’re doing 40 shades.”

Glossier didn’t build a cult following by lecturing people about ingredients. They built it by making beauty feel cool, not clinical.

Liquid Death didn’t become a billion-dollar water company by talking about hydration. They made water interesting by acting like a death metal band.

The Ordinary didn’t succeed by being “inspirational.” They succeeded by being brutally honest about what works and what doesn’t and calling out industry bullshit.

These brands have something most don’t…

A spine.

They say the very thing that everyone is thinking but most beauty brands are scared to say. They feel like actual humans, not corporate committees terrified of offending anyone.

And their emails reflect that.

Has your emails ever made someone...

  • Laugh? Cry?
  • Get slightly offended (in a good way)?
  • Screenshot it and send it to a friend?
  • Think “holy shit, they just said that”?
  • Actually want to read to the end instead of skimming?
  • Made the news, wound up on someone’s FB feed or landed on front page of Twitter (yes we still call it Twitter around here)?

If the answer is “never,” you have a problem.

 

Because here’s what actually gets emails opened, read, and clicked…

  • Personality. Not corporate-approved, focus-grouped, designed-not-to-offend-anyone personality. Real personality.
  • Opinions. Hot takes. Calling out industry BS. Saying what your customers are thinking but nobody else will say.
  • Stories. Not boring origin stories about your founder’s rescue dog. Stories that make people feel something and naturally lead to wanting your product.
  • Entertainment. Your customers’ inboxes are digital war zones. If your email isn’t more interesting than the 87 other emails they got today, it’s getting deleted.
  • Provocation. Sometimes the best way to sell is to challenge people. To make them uncomfortable. To say something they didn’t expect.

Most brands are terrified of doing any of this.

They want to be “for everyone.” They don’t want to alienate anyone. They play it safe.

And they stay invisible.

When You Stop Being So Vanilla? This Happens...

Imagine emails your customers not only opens but reads and takes action (read: buy your stuff)… because they’re curious what you’re going to say this time.

Imagine building the kind of brand people talk about. The kind they recommend to friends. The kind they defend in comment sections.

Imagine selling out products without having to discount them every other week.

This is what happens when your emails have a backbone.

When you stop trying to appeal to everyone and start speaking to the people who actually matter.

When you’re willing to be polarizing… because polarizing beats forgettable every single time.

When you understand that the goal isn’t to be liked by everyone. It’s to be loved by the right people and ignored by everyone else.

Here’s What I Do

I write emails for women’s beauty and wellness brands.

The brands that aren’t afraid to have opinions.

The brands that want to challenge beauty standards, not reinforce them.

The brands that understand modern femininity is complicated and are willing to talk about it honestly.

The brands that know their customers are smart, funny, and tired of being talked down to.

The brands that want a cult following, not just customers.

I write emails that…

∙ Get opened (because the subject lines make people curious, not bored)
∙ Get read (because they’re entertaining, not lectures)
∙ Get remembered (because they say something worth paying attention to)
∙ Make sales (because they don’t just follow the same feature-benefit formulas that people are immune to)

How This Actually Works

Most beauty brands send emails that could work for literally any other beauty brand.

It’s like they swapped out the logo, changed some product names, changed the color palette of course… and nobody’s the wiser.

That’s definitely not what I do. That’s Childs play.

I write emails that could ONLY come from your brand. That sound like you. That reflect your actual voice and values… not some watered-down, corporate-approved version of them.

Here’s my approach:

I don’t write marketing clichés. Instead, I write to real desires that come straight from your customer’s mouth.

Your customers don’t buy serums, supplements or beauty scrubs because they want “hydrated skin”… What does that even look like?

They buy them because they’re comparing themselves to other women and losing that battle.

  • Because they’re tired of looking tired, sleepy and 5 years older than they really are…
  • Because they want to feel confident when their ex texts them out of nowhere…
  • Because they’re trying to age gracefully (barf) in a world that makes them feel like showing any signs of aging? Is failure…

 

My emails speak to THESE realities… 

But most important of all… I write emails that sell blatantly. None of that toxic try not to sound like you’re selling BS.  Because again, your customers are not stupid so why act like it?

The best emails read like stories your customers can’t stop reading.

Stories about…

∙ The lies the beauty industry tells women…
∙ Dating in your 30s and feeling invisible…
∙ The relationship between self-worth and skincare routines…
∙ What “self-care” actually means vs what Instagram says it means…
∙ The uncomfortable truths about femininity nobody wants to admit…

And somewhere in that story, your product becomes the natural solution that doesn’t feel icky. Even though you’re selling in every single email!

I make your brand feel like a person, a bestie, a friend from the other side of the world… not some corporation who only cares about lining their pockets… even if you only care about lining your pocket.

My emails make your brand feel like someone your customers would actually want to be friends with.

I’m not afraid to be polarizing.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth about building a cult brand…

You can’t please everyone.

And you shouldn’t try.

The brands with die-hard fans are the ones willing to piss some people off. In a tactful way.

The ones who say “this isn’t for you” to the wrong customers.

The ones who take stances instead of trying to be neutral about everything.

My emails do this because that’s how you build a brand people actually care about and buy from.

What You Get

I work with brands on monthly retainers because building a cult following doesn’t happen with one campaign. It happens through consistency and evolution.


Monthly Email Retainer:

$4,000/month

What’s included:

∙ 4-5 emails per week (16-20 emails per month)
∙ Strategy calls to align on voice, messaging, and what you’re comfortable pushing
∙ Mix of storytelling, provocative, educational, and promotional emails
∙ Subject line optimization
∙ Performance analysis and iteration
This is for brands that:
∙ Actually have a perspective (or want help developing one)
∙ Aren’t afraid to be polarizing
∙ Want to build a cult following, not just get more customers
∙ Understand email is a long-term asset, not a quick-fix tactic
∙ Have multiple products and an existing email list (5,000+ subscribers)

 

Email Sequences:

$2,500-$3,500

Not ready for ongoing work but need specific sequences?

∙ Welcome sequences (5-7 emails): $2,500First impressions matter. Make yours count.
∙ Product launch sequences (7-10 emails): $3,000Build hype. Create desire. Sell out.
∙ Re-engagement sequences (5 emails): $2,500Win back customers who ghosted you.
∙ Abandoned cart sequences (3-5 emails): $2,000Turn “maybe later” into “shut up and take my money.”

This Is Not For You If...

  • You’re early-stage with no list or products yet
  • You want to appeal to everyone and never offend anyone
  • You’re looking for cheap, templated emails
  • You think email marketing is dead (you’re just bad at it)
  • You’re not ready to be consistent with email

 

On the other hand, this IS precisely for you if: 

  • You sell women’s beauty, health, skincare, or wellness products
  • You want your brand to have a personality (and you’re willing to develop one)
  • You’re tired of sounding like every other brand in your space
  • You’re not afraid to take a stance and potentially alienate people who were never going to buy anyway
  • You want to build a cult following, not just a customer base
  • You understand that playing it safe is the riskiest thing you can do

 

I help beauty brands say what everyone else is too scared to say... and turn it into sales

The infamous… why me?

Hi, I’m Ashley! 

I’m obsessed with stories. The REAL stories. The uncomfortable ones. 

I’ve spent years studying what makes people fascinating… from visiting prisons to understand criminal psychology, to analyzing why some brands become cult movements while others fade into obscurity.

Turns out, it all comes down to story.

The beauty brands winning right now aren’t the ones with the best products. They’re the ones telling the best stories.

That’s what I do. I help you tell yours, through email.

I’ve spent over a decade writing copy that makes people buy.

I understand women… because well, SPOILER ALERT: I am a woman…

Not in a pandering, girl-boss lets take over the world and OMG… #SelfCareSunday kind of way. Not my style… 

In the real, messy, complicated way.

I know that “self-care” has become code for “I’m avoiding my actual problems.”

I know that women don’t buy anti-aging products because they want to “age gracefully”… they buy them because society makes them feel like aging is failing.

I know that confidence isn’t something you buy in a bottle… but the right product can help you feel like the version of yourself you want to be.

I write to the real reasons women buy… not the sanitized, socially acceptable reasons.

And I’m not afraid to say what other brands simply wont. I’ve been doing that this entire time… And since you’ve made it this far…

You know it works. Saying the unsayable is what keeps people, your customers.. wanting more.

What Happens Next

Congratulations! One of two things happens here… 1. You are ready to get started or… 2. You want to know a little bit more about how this email witchery, madness, sorcery… works.

So here’s what that looks like:

Step 1: You’ll fill out the application.

Tell me about your brand, your products, and most importantly… your current email situation. What you’re scared to say but wish you could.

Step 2: We’ll talk

I’ll review your application and stalk your brand… Then decide if we’re a match made in heaven or not. It’s very simple: I work with brands that I actually believe in and the ones I believe I can impact the most.

Step 3: If I like what I see, we start

Strategy first. Then I’ll start writing emails that make people give a shit about your brand.

One more thing:

I only take on 3 clients at a time. If you’re interested, don’t wait around thinking about it.

 

Or Stay Forgettable

Look, if you’re happy being another “clean beauty” brand sending the same emails as everyone else, cool.

Keep doing that.

But if you’re reading this and thinking “fuck, I’ve been playing it way too safe”…

Then maybe it’s time to stop.